Nothering, Too Good, or Good Enough Mother?

Feminine Collective published Good Enough Mothering, a poem of mine about mothering a migraineur.

Check it out:

World Mental Health Day: Psychological First Aid


Dignity in Mental Health: Psychological & Mental Health First Aid for All

Wave the White Flag


Need to write out the pain and exhaustion in my heart
Pain and grieving my parents’ dementias
Pain and exhaustion caring for my son
Must back off both
Must take care of myself
Must take care of myself
Ready to throw in the towel
To admit defeat
To wave a white flag
To say I give up
I give up
I cannot control the chaos that is my life
I cannot heal others
They must help themselves
They must accept or seek help from others
Not just me
I need a break
I am exhausted
I cannot take it anymore
I am not strong
I am broken
I am ready to break
The burden is too great
The weight on my back too heavy
Please take it off me
Please stop
Please give me a break
Please stand up on your own
Please stop asking me to fix you
Please accept that you, too, are broken
Please stop looking to me for help
I cannot do this anymore
I cannot
I cannot
I cannot
It’s too much for me
Too much
Too much
Too much
I’m breaking
Under the burden
Fuck this shit

P.S. When I free-wrote this I vented. Yes, I’m exhausted, but hanging in there. Just fed up. This is theatrical – I know – but, I wrote how I felt at the time.

P.P.S. My husband made me tea with honey and brought it to me. On his days off, he brings me coffee and Cheerios with banana. I love eating breakfast in bed. Not a morning person. Last night he bought me a box of Entenmann’s chocolate frosted donuts, which I’ve polished off (one of my favorite indulgences). My 16-year old son popped in and told me he loved me and gave me a hug. I’m appreciated.




Recovering from social demands
From social interaction
From caring for others
My son
My husband
My parents
From caring about too many
From caring too much

You may not hear from me
You may not read much from me
I’m depleted
I need to refill
Not to care so much about others
But to care more about myself
To care more for myself
For now, I’m quiet…


Happy Anniversary to

I’ve been blogging for three years! Yay! Hope to do more writing. Hands full this week caring for my son. 

He’s going through a rough patch. His migraine medication (anti-seizure medication topiramate aka Topamax) interferes with his memory and cognition (why it’s nicknamed “Dopamax”), making it challenging for him to read, complete his homework, or take a test. Especially frustrating for him, for he’s gifted (yes, I’m biased and boasting – I’m his mom and I’m proud of him). With his neurologist’s input, reduced the dosage of his topiramate. He prefers migraines over not being as bright. Hopefully the reduced dosage will still prevent migraines, and lessen or eliminate the side effects.