At one point in the past year, in an attempt to de-clutter a hopelessly cluttered house, I tossed all of my letters, journals, papers, and essays into the recycling. Later I regretted it and went to retrieve them from the recycling bin, but the papers had gotten wet and dirty, so I left them. Some of it was probably worth keeping.
I feel like I’ve left the best of my brain behind. Like I will never again be as sharp or as brilliant. I’ve grown accustomed to my brain on valproic acid. Sluggish, forgetting words. Maybe someday I’ll revive it, and once again be creative and thoughtful. Or, not.
Luckily I saved my seminary papers to a back-up drive, so I will be publishing edited versions of those under About God.