Slowing It Down

Slowing it down, breaking it down into manageable bite-size tasks. Put off job search for now. Became overwhelmed. Feared hypomania, mixed episodes, and eventual hospitalization. Fear job taking over, not being able to set limits, boundaries. My permeable self, the self that enables me to empathize, is too soft. Not able to say No or Later or When I Can Get to It. Not able to delegate. Take on too much. Feel sucked in. And, then I leave, flee, escape. Cocoon myself at home. Hide.

Adolescent client once said my heart is too soft.

For now, I start going to my psychiatrist’s group therapy sessions. Signed up for a writing workshop, afraid of overstimulation; still, not sure what I can do, how much I can do and remain stable. Signed up for Zumba Gold class once a week. Daily take care of husband and son.  Dogs looking at me for attention, following me around, sleeping at my feet. In the master bed now, writing, using computer and Google calendar to organize my life.

Written 3/1/14 at 12:41 pm

Advertisements

One thought on “Slowing It Down

What are your thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s