Bad Mom – Spoken Word for Tha.Speakeasy

Prompted by an invite to Tha.Speakeasy Facebook event on April 17th & 18th, I read my poem, Bad Mom, which I’m posting here.

Bad Mom

Bad mom
Selfish mom
Ineffective mom
Permissive mom
Bipolar mom
At times, abusive mom
At times, out of control mom
At times, rageful mom
She’s even hit her kid
She’s even slapped her kid
No excuse
No excuse to hit a child
No excuse to slap a child

36 thoughts on “Bad Mom – Spoken Word for Tha.Speakeasy

  1. Indah Susanti April 18, 2015 / 10:49 pm

    A powerful and moving post – the video gives me goosebump..My mother lost temper once a while when I was little, the older I gets the more I understand her circumstnces. I respect and stay loving her. Perhaps without her compassion I would not be as a strong person as I am today. And I always admire your courage and supporting you along the way. Hugs, Indah

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley April 18, 2015 / 10:57 pm

      Thank you, Indah. Mothering is a challenge, for anyone.

      Like

  2. La Sabrosona April 18, 2015 / 12:49 pm

    I recently read that moms are more abusive than fathers. Don’t ask me to pull out references…some website on mental illness and family violence…they said that even if mothers are abusive they still get full custody the majority of the time after separation/divorce. I never wanted to think about it, but I think it’s true. There’s so much of a heavy “burden” of care when one is not well herself to take care of children.

    I’m happy to hear you’re in a better space. Talking about it is really important.

    Like

    • Kitt O'Malley April 18, 2015 / 5:15 pm

      I do not know if those statistics are accurate. There is also the issue of severity, degree of injury, and emotional vs. physical vs. sexual abuse.

      Most mothers are in the trenches with their children. We are exhausted. We lose our temper. Honestly, both my sister and I have far more compassion for our mother now that we are mothers.

      Most parental sexual abusers, on the other hand, are fathers. Though mothers can and do sexually abuse.

      I believe that unless we bring the issue out into the light of day, it will continue in the shadows – hidden.

      Liked by 2 people

      • La Sabrosona April 18, 2015 / 6:03 pm

        The statistics I read on mothers abusing their kids was cited as physical/emotional. And you’re right, I also have a lot more respect and compassion for my parents now.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. bpnurse April 16, 2015 / 3:47 pm

    I’ve done or been all of those things. Thank God my kids knew how much I really did (and do) love them, because they’ve forgiven me and we have great relationships. It does get better, Kitt. You’ll see. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley April 16, 2015 / 4:21 pm

      It has gotten better over the years. The early years were the hardest. My son is growing into a wonderful young man. My husband and I adore him, and he knows it.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. dyane April 16, 2015 / 9:10 am

    I watched it again and your expression at the end is heartbreaking….I got tears.

    “Never” is right, sweet one.

    In an ideal, mental-illness free-utopia, that is. These things happen when one has bipolar disorder. Are we totally at fault for our egregious actions? I think not.

    I’ve done all the things on your list and my mom has done all of them to me. But now that I’m 100% better on my meds and I’m stable, I refrain from the abuse & hitting and I’ve turned things around a great deal. I still berate myself for my past actions but I can’t do anything about that.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Kitt O'Malley April 16, 2015 / 1:18 pm

      True. I have apologized and I do my VERY best to be as healthy as possible and as loving as possible. Yet, I live with niggling fear. That rage, that monster, that beast, lives inside of me. She is part and parcel of me. Medications help. Writing helps. Peer support helps. My husband helps. Still, she lurks. I fear her.

      Liked by 3 people

  5. dyane April 16, 2015 / 9:01 am

    Fantastic rendition!!!!!!! A+++!!!! Gave me f*cking chills.
    You rock even more than my geologist husband with this one, my friend

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley April 16, 2015 / 1:10 pm

      LOL. Responding to Blahpolar comment had me in tears. Sure you can relate. We’ve both been there, and it sucks. My heart aches for our children. My heart aches for us, for we truly do love them so.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. e April 16, 2015 / 5:42 am

    Proud of you. Glad to hear your voice as you owned your voice!

    e

    Liked by 1 person

  7. blahpolar April 16, 2015 / 5:30 am

    Lines 9 and 10 are brave admissions and I would imagine, rather controversial to read and to hear. Very cool to see you in action, wish everyone (except me) would make videos so I can put voices and faces to avatars.

    Liked by 3 people

    • dyane April 16, 2015 / 9:04 am

      Oh, I’ll be after you yet to make a vlog….hee hee hee.
      It’s so bizarre that I haven’t heard your voice nor seen your visage.
      You could hide behind S. for a start….

      p.s. Will email you back soon – I’ve been in a fatigue-ish funk. Doing a little better after watching our feisty friend Kitt here; she got me fired up!

      Liked by 2 people

      • Kitt O'Malley April 16, 2015 / 1:16 pm

        Blahpolar EMAILS you! I am so jealous (and I’m not even a lesbian – well, I did try once, but just the idea of going down on her made me physically ill, so I bailed – I hoped that love would conquer all, but some things are just hard-wired – and, yes, I was 19-20 – it was a very frustrating and weird celibate romantic friendship). How’s that for a confession. Luckily I’m incognito. Wait, I’m not! Do I give a fuck? No. Would my son? Yep. That’s why he avoids my blog like the plague and hopes that none of his friends read it or make the connection. Maybe that’s also why he never invites anyone over? Actually, he’s made it clear that school is more than enough in person social stimulation for him. I respect him for drawing his line.

        Liked by 2 people

    • Kitt O'Malley April 16, 2015 / 1:07 pm

      I do not shy from controversy. We cannot address child abuse if we do not own it. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is worse than seeing fear in your child’s eyes. Shit. I’m tearing up now. Crap.

      Liked by 4 people

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