Too Tired to Write

Parenting is a Balancing Act

Living with mental illness while parenting a child with chronic health issues is a balancing act. When my son was very young, I tried working as well, and ended up hospitalized. I could only juggle so many roles. Recently I’ve been exhausted. Too involved in attending to my son’s health and educational needs to have any energy left over to write blog posts. Instead of writing I’ve been sharing other people’s content on social media and playing with tools to create inspirational quote memes.

As for my son’s health, the lab results for his immunological workup were negative, which is good news. We will see his immunologist/allergist tomorrow afternoon. Friday he is scheduled for an esophagogastroduodenoscopy (EGD). How’s that for a mouthful. Try saying it three times fast. I can’t even say it once. Hopefully the procedure will rule out gastrointestinal processes, such as hiatal hernia or esophagitis. He’s already being treated for GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease).

Since he was sick finals week, he is taking incompletes this semester and taking missed quizzes, tests, and  finals this summer. My son’s high school agreed to Section 504 accommodations for his illnesses, including gastrointestinal issues and migraines, which led to far too many school absences this past semester. Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 protects individuals with disabilities from discrimination in any program receiving federal funds.

To prepare for my meetings with my son’s school, I read the Special Education Rights and Responsibilities (SERR) Manual by Disability Rights California, which summarizes California and federal law, and met with TASK – Team of Advocates for Special Kids. Thank you, TASK and  Disability Rights California!

Disability Rights Resources

Federal Disability Rights Resources

California Disability Rights Resources

72 thoughts on “Too Tired to Write

  1. lydiaa1614 June 22, 2015 / 11:12 pm

    Wow, Kitt, you are dealing with a lot. I commend you for how you are keeping proactive with your son’s rights. I am praying for you both.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Karen Jimmy June 22, 2015 / 9:05 pm

    You’re an inspiration Kitt, praying for you and your son xo

    Liked by 1 person

  3. bipolarsojourner June 22, 2015 / 7:04 pm

    esophagogastroduodenoscopy, esophagogastroduodenoscopy, esophagogastroduodenoscopy. I did it!

    i keep running into all these people who i wish were my parents. Job well done with your littl’ ones.

    btw, it might come as a little bit of a surprise to you you are not the new york times. for that reason, don’t feel obligated to post on given time schedule. I try to post daily, but sometimes falls back to weekly and even went four months without a post. if your write for therapeutic reasons, try not to let in stress you out. too much that will lead to reduced value to you.

    you’re a busy woman. i think people will be willing to read your stuff when ever you post, even if is not daily.

    Liked by 3 people

    • lydiaa1614 June 22, 2015 / 11:13 pm

      I agree! My counselor told me that my full time job was looking after my own health. And you have two full time jobs, Kitt – both your health and your son’s.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Kitt O'Malley June 23, 2015 / 9:52 am

        True. I use that too often as an excuse to not clean our home. But, I’m exhausted and overwhelmed.

        Liked by 1 person

        • lydiaa1614 June 23, 2015 / 10:58 am

          I am the same. I am trying to learn to forgive myself for a messy house and/or ask for help. It isn’t easy.

          Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley June 23, 2015 / 9:40 am

      I just said exactly the same thing to a Facebook friend and blogger who had a reader complain that she hadn’t posted in a while. This isn’t my job. I do not get paid. Thank you!

      Liked by 2 people

      • bipolarsojourner June 23, 2015 / 10:01 am

        i just re-read your post. i originally thought you were apologizing for lack of posts. now I see that’s not the case. you were merely following your advice of not falling into the guilt trap if you are unable to post on a regular basis, however you define regular. So, a hearty good for you for practicing self care.

        Liked by 2 people

        • Kitt O'Malley June 23, 2015 / 11:32 am

          Thanks! Honestly, not writing for me means that I’m tending to some need other than my own, for in writing I express myself, whether or not I share what I write.

          Like

  4. Laura P. Schulman, MD, MA June 22, 2015 / 6:57 pm

    I’m amazed you have the energy to do as much as you do, with all you’ve got on your plate. Does your son have an IEP (Individualized Educational Program, for those who might not be familiar with the term)? I had to fight like a tiger to get one for my son. Reason why? IQ too high. Does your son have Celiac? I guess they’ll take biopsies for that when they do the UGI scope, right?

    Sending good vibes, with prayers for answers that lead to healing ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley June 23, 2015 / 9:24 am

      He did not qualify for an IEP. I could have fought the school district since according to my reading of the Disabilities Rights California (DRC) manual, Special Education Rights and Responsibilities, Matthew is eligible for special education services under other health impaired (OHI), for his health problems which have been chronic repetitive communicable infectious diseases which have had adverse effects on his educational performance resulting in absences and poor grades. Instead, he has a 504 plan with accommodations for his migraines and nausea. Honestly, I need him to not get sick so frequently. When he has his EGD, they will take biopsies.

      Thank you, Laura, for your prayers.

      Like

        • Kitt O'Malley June 23, 2015 / 11:31 am

          Seeing pediatric allergist/immunologist this afternoon. Haven’t received hard copy of results. Told over phone they were negative. Photographed lab order before testing. He was tested for (alphabet soup to me): Immunoglobulins [7083]; IGE [542]; T&B cell subset, NK cell [7197] CD4, CD8, CD56, CD19, CD3, CD16.T&B cell, NK cell; Haemophilus Influenzae Type B [35135]; Streptococcus Pneumoniae IgG 23 Serotype [16963] ; Tetanus Antitoxoid [4862]; Diptheria Antitoxoid [4865]; Thyroid Panel [7020]; Anti-TPO, Anti-Thyroglob, TSI [89185]. His pediatrician was going to ask the lab to see if there was enough blood left over to test for mononucleosis.

          Like

          • Laura P. Schulman, MD, MA June 23, 2015 / 11:34 am

            Wow. You’re covering all the bases. Don’t ask for mono, that’s a very inaccurate test. Ask for. CMV and EBV, the two viruses that cause mono syndromes and can be chronic or recurrent.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Kitt O'Malley June 23, 2015 / 1:58 pm

            Thanks. I’ll mention it to his immunologist/allergist this afternoon.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Kitt O'Malley June 23, 2015 / 7:18 pm

            His lab results indicated slightly elevated lymphocytes, probably due to a mild sinus infection which the allergist is treating with sinus sprays and nasal irrigation. He also had low pneumococcal antibodies, so his immunologist prescribed a Prevnar 13 vaccine and a flu vaccine. Four weeks after his Prevnar vaccine, we will go back for a follow-up pneumococcal panel and mono test panel which includes CMV & EBV. Thank you so much for your input. You made me look smart. 😉

            Liked by 1 person

          • Laura P. Schulman, MD, MA June 23, 2015 / 7:40 pm

            Umm…I wish I could just shut up, but I can’t, so here goes…lymphocytes indicate viral infection. Bacterial infections cause elevated leukocytes. Thus my suspicion of an underlying viral infection is strengthened. Sigh. It’s very frustrating, not doing bedside medicine anymore. I love a good mystery, and there is no better mystery to unravel than a kid with a bunch of seemingly unrelated medical issues. Most of the time there is a single underlying issue, but on these days of total medical specialty fragmentation, those things tend to get snowed under by masses of tests by every specialist in town, and nobody is really looking at the big picture. Couple that with the fact that nobody learns physical diagnosis anymore (as in, using one’s five senses and adding the sixth), it’s a pitiful state we’re in. Anyway. Lymphocytes>> virus.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Kitt O'Malley June 23, 2015 / 8:43 pm

            That must be why they didn’t want to prescribe antibiotics. Perhaps I’m the one who didn’t understand. He has been sick this past week and had to take incompletes because of it. His immune system is compromised. I have a copy of his lab results.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Laura P. Schulman, MD, MA June 24, 2015 / 9:30 am

            That’s great that they didn’t rush into knee -jerk antibiosis. Means your doc is intelligent and reads the medical literature, yay!

            Liked by 1 person

          • Kitt O'Malley June 24, 2015 / 1:16 pm

            Like I checked out your credentials, I did my research on my son’s immunologist. Yep, Dr. Schulman I vetted you as a pediatrician specializing in integrative medicine, licensed in NY, OH, UT, & NC, and educated at Univ of Illinois & Strong Memorial. I do not heed medical advice from just anyone. Your background is impressive.

            My son’s pediatric immunologist is also the real deal: Christina Schwindt, M.D. is board certified in both pediatrics and allergy, asthma and immunology. She attended St. Louis Univ School of Medicine for med school, pediatric residency, and allergy & immunology fellowship.

            Like

          • Laura P. Schulman, MD, MA June 24, 2015 / 3:26 pm

            Oh you excellent sleuth! May I ask, where did you find my credentials? I haven’t looked myself up. Sounds like you have a wonderful doc! You are very fortunate–but then, it sounds like you do your homework. All moms (and everybody else) should do the same.

            That said, I am currently going round and round with the Risk Management people at Duke University. I thought the Duke ER would be a good place to go when I was having chest pain (I think it’s angina but can’t seem to find a doc who cares). I also have a skin condition where my skin tears off in sheets, leaving holes that take weeks to months to heal, so I have to grease my whole body up to decrease any kind of friction. The triage nurses couldn’t get the EKG stickers to stick, and I tried to tell them to just use a alcohol wipe on the places they needed to stick them, but they ignored me and instead took a 12 lead on leads that were not in contact with my skin and was totally unreadable. In addition they were both audibly cursing! I walked out and immediately called the patient care representative, reported the whole thing, and told them I expected not to be billed. They charged me anyway, and had the gall to send it to collections when I sent their bill back with an explanatory letter. So now I am back at square one with this highly respected institution. Fie.

            Like

          • Kitt O'Malley June 24, 2015 / 9:01 pm

            So sorry you had such a horrible experience.

            Honestly, I probably began with Google search, found old directory listing of your former practice in NC. Went to NC medical board and got details. Easy. Been using the Internet and before that newsfeeds for research for decades.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Kitt O'Malley June 24, 2015 / 9:02 pm

            I will keep you in my prayers for your skin condition and chest pain.

            Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley June 23, 2015 / 9:31 am

      In September he has an appointment with Children’s Hospital Orange County (CHOC) Metabolic Clinic to check for possible metabolic disorders, such as a mitochondrial disorder. Both sides of our family have members with hemochromatosis, a genetic metabolic disorder in which too much iron is absorbed from food. Both my husband and I have had iron panel tests and have tested normal. Time to make sure our son has not inherited the disorder.

      Like

      • Laura P. Schulman, MD, MA June 23, 2015 / 9:41 am

        My goodness, I hope not. The more I live in the world, the more I understand how the legend of Pandora’s Box got started. But once again, things always get blamed on women. That’s because men are jealous of women’s ability to bring life into the world in so many ways, and have to figure out ways to pin all of life’s miseries on us as well. Oops, got a bit off topic, but there you go. Hope it’s all normal or at least readily treatable!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Just Plain Ol' Vic June 22, 2015 / 6:28 pm

    Kitt you are an awesome Mom and you are doing the best that you call. That is all we can ever ask of ourselves, is to try our best. Take care!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Amy June 22, 2015 / 6:06 pm

    Parenting is such a balancing act especially when our children have health issues. Hugs to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. mihrank June 22, 2015 / 6:02 pm

    this is indeed difficult – stay strong mother – May God Bless you.

    Focus on the whole family. “From my perspective, mental health is family health,” which means paying attention to each other’s wellbeing, Nicholson said. Watching for red flags in kids becomes especially important because “research has shown that kids with parents with serious mental illness are at risk for developing mental illness themselves, both due to genetic and environmental issues,”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley June 23, 2015 / 9:17 am

      Yes. I first took my son to see a child psychologist when he was four. He is not interested in going to therapy now, but he sees both a psychiatrist and a neurologist.

      Like

  8. stockdalewolfe June 22, 2015 / 5:45 pm

    Who wouldn’t be tired with all that is going on. I will step up the prayers for all of you. So glad the test was negative and hope the EGD does, too. So much worry and anxiety for all of you. Big hug, Ellen

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley June 23, 2015 / 9:16 am

      Thank you, Ellen. I wish you and your husband the best. Keeping you both in my prayers, as well.

      Like

  9. swtswtsue June 22, 2015 / 5:11 pm

    You’re a good mom, Kitt – taking the bull by the horns and educating yourself like you have. Good on you! I’m glad your son’s test came out negative, too! Warm thoughts and positive vibes sent to you for Friday. I’ll be thinking about you. I hope your son’s feeling better ASAP (which, I’m sure, will make you breathe easier as well.) Some big hugs comin’ right up! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley June 22, 2015 / 11:03 pm

      He’s doing much better. His appetite is back, which is a huge relief. Thank you for your kind words and support.

      Liked by 1 person

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