Have I Lost My Blogging Friends?

Have I Lost My Blogging Friends?

So I’ve been busy, much busier than usual, in my real life, interacting with people in the flesh, which overstimulates me, so I haven’t been reading and commenting on other blog posts like I usually do, like I used to do.

The posts I published Wednesday received few comments. I wonder, is it because I have let down my online community of mutually supportive readers by not reading and commenting on their posts? Or, is it because my posts were not personal or particularly original in nature — just a rehash of a conference I attended Friday and Saturday and a repost of a TIME, Inc. infographic about why we still need Women’s Equality Day ? Perhaps my last post was simply too long (and boring, I now realize in going back and reading it).

I’ve been feeling guilty for not reading and commenting as much on other blogs, but I can only do so much, and taking care of myself comes first. I respond to comments on my blog. But, there are simply too many other blogs to read them all. I’m not even reading those with whom I’ve developed close online friendships.

Writing helps me. Consuming seemingly endless numbers of mental health posts, commenting on them and sharing them, unfortunately, does not. Perhaps doing so helps others, just not me. Not when I’m too overwhelmed. Not when I’m doing my best to slow down.

By the way, did some more in person volunteering. Once again trying to figure this one out. How much in-person social interaction and volunteering I can take on without spinning like a hypomanic top.

132 thoughts on “Have I Lost My Blogging Friends?

  1. Sarah's Attic of Treasures August 28, 2015 / 1:44 am

    Kitt, I understand where you are coming from.
    I am one of those who seldom seem to get to your blog. The comments on mine are keeping me pretty busy…..I love it and since I am in the hospital, it’s been a life saver. Interacting with others right now.
    I am very glad to here how productive you have been. You have actually gotten out and met people. I haven’t wanted to meet any one face to face in a long time.
    Not anyone new.
    Keep writing as you have been. It is what excites you.
    I doubt if you have lost any bloggers or if you have it’s the odd one or 2.
    Keep doing what makes you happy.
    Hugs Sarah

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kitt O'Malley August 28, 2015 / 10:05 am

      Thank you, Sarah. Bless you. I know too well how tough it is to get out and meet new people. It can be exhausting. I hope that this comment finds you healing.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sarah's Attic of Treasures August 28, 2015 / 2:14 pm

        Mentally, I am doing good overall. I’ve had a few lows but then it is to be expected. I am doing better as far as the lupus /fibro /flare goes. Just praying I don’t need surgery on my ankle /foot.
        All is good.
        Have a great weekend. HUGS

        Liked by 1 person

        • Kitt O'Malley August 28, 2015 / 3:25 pm

          I will pray for you and your ankle and foot. Relax and have a wonderful weekend. HUGS right back at you.

          Chronic illnesses suck. My son struggles with chronic illnesses. Breaks my heart that I cannot take away the pain, that I cannot strengthen his compromised immune system.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Sarah's Attic of Treasures August 28, 2015 / 4:16 pm

            It is worse watching a child suffer than it is when you have it yourself. Prayers love and support.
            How old is he? ❤ ❤

            Liked by 1 person

          • Kitt O'Malley August 28, 2015 / 7:07 pm

            He is 15. He’s suffered from debilitating migraines since he was a toddler.

            Liked by 2 people

          • Sarah's Attic of Treasures August 28, 2015 / 7:28 pm

            Poor kid. I have had them since 1987. I lost a lot of my memory and speech skills from them. For a child to get them is much worse….:(

            Liked by 1 person

          • Kitt O'Malley August 28, 2015 / 7:52 pm

            He has a poor immune system, too. We are working on that with his immunologist and taking him Children’s Hospital’s Metabolic Clinic to screen for an underlying metabolic disorder. He may be heir to hemochromatosis, a genetic metabolic disorder which both I and my husband may carry. ALPIM (Anxiety-Laxity-Pain-Immune-Mood) is a newly defined spectrum syndrome which describes the constellation of symptoms he lives with.


  2. Zoe August 28, 2015 / 1:25 am

    I have this automatic filtering mechanism in my eyes where I skim posts that are reblogs or informative (data and research) unless the title really captures my interest. Since for the most part I feel like data and statistics fail to represent me in the madness, it’s my auto response to skip.

    Now there was a bug going around a month or so back where people began disappearing from the reader feed. It could be that you posted at a time of day that just didn’t get much traffic that day.

    At any rate, happy to see you’ve been productive and taking care of yourself. Keeping up with blogs is like a part time job, especially if you follow too many. I only hit that follow button for about 60 and that’s overwhelming as it is. I used to have a very popular blog on other platform and it took 40 hours a week to manage it and my readers. I burned out in a year. It’s not worth it. This should be a therapeutic and rewarding experience. Do what you must to keep it that way!

    Liked by 6 people

      • Billy August 28, 2015 / 2:09 am

        I had to stop myself from reading all the comments 🙂 Between my scarce internet connection and theoretically having a lot of work to get done, I try to read as few blogs as possible (keeping them as relevant to me as possible) but that’s hard as many are so interesting. Then, if I read, I tend to just like something to signify I came by, I read you, and I’m liking what you said, but unless the post leads me to comment something specific, I tend not to just comment for the sake of it.
        I simply don’t have the time to click through on every link, and sometimes the subject may interest me but I don’t want to go into it right now: for example, what you’re doing, is AWESOME. And as I have given up on the idea of working outside, I am seriously thinking that when all this is over, and I have been diagnosed, and I finish translating my books, or at some point, I’d like to try volunteering and getting out there. So in actual fact I am extremely interested in your outdoor activities, in seeing how it goes for you. However, I just read. Often reading on mobile means that it takes five minutes to load the post, and it would take five more to be able to comment, and five more to wait for that comment to go through. So I just don’t.
        I say all this because combined with the above there are many reasons why you may not get lots of comments: but please don’t let it stop you from writing!

        Liked by 3 people

        • Kitt O'Malley August 28, 2015 / 10:15 am

          Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for taking the time to comment on this post. I’m reading your most recent post right now, the one about getting a diagnosis and going on disability. I must say that the issues you are struggling with now at the beginning of your mental health diagnosis and disability journey are issues I still struggle with today, a decade after I was hospitalized and got on disability. That struggle is real. It is not easy to give up our prior identity as productive workers. We mourn. The loss is real.

          Liked by 2 people

          • Billy August 28, 2015 / 10:55 am

            It is very true. That is also why I really admire what you’re doing with your volunteering work, and I can imagine how hard it is too. xx

            Liked by 1 person

    • stuffthatneedssaying August 28, 2015 / 8:37 am

      Agree on the automatic filtering. I don’t have any interest in reblogged posts. I don’t mind following a link within a longer post that was inspired by it, but the reblogging function makes me feel like the poster didn’t have anything original to say. I tend to prefer posts about personal experiences – I gloss over anything vaguely political or full of general facts.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Kitt O'Malley August 28, 2015 / 10:50 am

        Thank you. It’s good to know what makes a difference, what hits home. No doubt people read posts about personal experiences. We thrive on stories with which we can identify or which intrigue us. Those stories teach compassion for ourselves and for others. We all struggle and triumph in one way or another.


    • Kitt O'Malley August 28, 2015 / 9:58 am

      I agree completely with doing what helps me and that I most enjoy. Posts that are more personal in nature definitely engage more, for we can connect to them.


  3. Gertie August 28, 2015 / 1:23 am

    We all have lives outside of the blogging community. It is a little disappointing when you think a post will get comments and it doesn’t. I’ve learned to not expect comments on any of my post and if they get one I am excited about it. We are both bloggers that would love to have a dialog going on our blogs and at times it is more difficult to do so.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Kitt O'Malley August 28, 2015 / 9:55 am

      Thank you, Gertie, for getting it. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to keep up with your blog. You always have great content.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Raeyn August 28, 2015 / 12:59 am

    I’m a rubbish commenter, so I don’t worry too much about not getting much reciprocated back. And I also try to be mindful that we’re all mentally ill and have good days and bad days, and sometimes that means you don’t hear from people. En masse? ‘Tis the season for so-called reverse SAD. That tends to take out a goodly swathe of the Bipolaratti from what I’ve seen.

    Not sure where I’m going with any of that. So it goes, it goes. ❤

    Liked by 5 people

    • Kitt O'Malley August 28, 2015 / 9:54 am

      So I’m not the only one ramping? Good to keep in mind.


  5. dyane August 28, 2015 / 12:20 am

    You got me, babe….I related to this post. !!!
    I try to remind myself that it’s about the quality of my blog friends, not the quantity or amount of replies, but sometimes I get bummed out about it all.

    Anyway, gotta get to sleep but I keep looping about dysfunttional family members…time for 25 mg of Seroquel. Love you!!!

    Liked by 4 people

    • Kitt O'Malley August 28, 2015 / 9:51 am

      I noticed that you, too, were up late last night. Not good for either of us, but my usual bedtime is between 10:30 to 11:30, yours is earlier. Either way, it doesn’t help my sleep to be online at that time. Far better for me to be reading a good novel on a dark screen.

      Liked by 1 person

      • dyane August 28, 2015 / 12:23 pm

        I’m so f*cking tired that it’s ridiculous. I took Wedny K. Williamson’s advice and got a blue screen for my Kindle but I don’t know how much it helps… we have the heat wave here and yesterday it was 100 degrees which also makes me feel wiped out – I want to go stay with Greg Archer in Maui. Too bad they have that dog quarantine!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Kitt O'Malley August 28, 2015 / 2:09 pm

          I use the Kindle app on my iPad and the app has a black screen in which you can adjust the text’s brightness to a dark grey. It helps, without doubt. Plus, the act of reading fiction takes my mind off bipolar disorder and mental illness, giving me a break.

          Liked by 1 person

  6. badhalolife August 28, 2015 / 12:18 am

    Relax. Breathe.
    I feel the same way about my blog readers but I guess people are just busy..
    Everything is so go go go and sometimes we don’t have time to read our emails, let alone have some chill out time catching up on blogs. I think the world is only getting busier so maybe we need to change our blog formats or the way we advertise the content in order to reach more peeps or make it easier to read?
    Still live your work hon!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kitt O'Malley August 28, 2015 / 9:49 am

      Thank you. More important to chill out and enjoy writing than stress out about the numbers game.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. jaklumen August 28, 2015 / 12:15 am

    Trade ya, Kitt. I’m in mind-melting pain. Collapsing spinal disc between L4 & L5, and swelling around the bone graft of L5/S1. I can’t seem to squeeze out hardly ANY blog posts. Not to mention I’m just not on the right frequency that gets many comments. Wait… I wouldn’t wish this awfulness on anyone, but, y’know? You’ve got the blog thing more figured out than I do.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley August 28, 2015 / 12:20 am

      Thank you, Jak. Honestly, I’ve worked an inordinate number of hours a day on many social platforms to get to this point. But I’ve spread myself so thin and overextended myself so much that I’m brnung out – not so much in writing, but in consuming.


  8. Liliana Risovic August 27, 2015 / 11:57 pm

    I’m not a blogger but I like to read blog …. lately your blog too. I like it. But I don´t comment at all.

    I find it helps me personally. And you can not lose your friends who love to read what you write.
    I do not know the rules of bloggers and what it means to be a blogger friend. For me, the important content and topic.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Kitt O'Malley August 28, 2015 / 12:13 am

      Thank you, Liliana. I’m glad you enjoy what I write.


  9. michelletoussaint August 27, 2015 / 11:45 pm

    I’ve had the same problem and experienced the same thing, almost as if you’ve been forgotten by the bloggosphere. Except for the faithful few, nobody stops by like they used to, but I guess all we can do is interact when we have the time, and hope for the best.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. mihrank August 27, 2015 / 11:41 pm

    that’s indeed a good question – Blogger, friends don’t even reply back…They some time mention ” Thank you” and no more…I wish your post will bring much more respect.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley August 28, 2015 / 12:10 am

      My readers always show great respect and love. That’s why I wonder if I’m letting them down. I want to return in favor what they give me, but I’m not always able to do so.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mihrank August 28, 2015 / 12:12 am

        Kitt – your last words are correct – I feel the same, you completely disappeared from sharing your comments with me, even the special link you once created, its no longer active…As you know, I always respect you.


        • Kitt O'Malley August 28, 2015 / 12:17 am

          I am so sorry. I was so over-extended. I still am. I simply cannot maintain following so many wonderful blogs. I can respond to comments on my blog, but I’ve had to cut way back on reading other blogs. I’m only capable of doing so much. As is, I’m so active that I’m hypomanic.


          • mihrank August 28, 2015 / 12:26 am

            Kitt, I deeply understand and support you ….Of course, you have such amazing blogs and you are very active….

            Liked by 1 person

          • hirundine608 September 2, 2015 / 6:35 am

            Surely would that be hyper-maniac? Hypo usually means less or below. As in Hypoglycaemic? Medical terms usually confuse me. … Cheers Jamie.

            Liked by 1 person

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