Maybe I’m Just a Loner


What’s so bad about being a loner? Why is “social isolation” always referred to negatively? Can’t individuals have different needs? Some of us cannot tolerate social stimulation. Some of us do better alone, with a small family, with a close partner. Some of us do not do well in groups.

49 thoughts on “Maybe I’m Just a Loner

  1. Just Plain Ol' Vic September 20, 2015 / 2:45 pm

    I actually relish my all too infrequent moments where I am alone. I have always felt I would do well alone, as long as I still had my blog which provides the minimal amount of interaction I need.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kitt O'Malley September 20, 2015 / 3:11 pm

      I think that many writers and artists flourish working alone. The interaction and feedback we get as bloggers is, in my experience, very mutually supportive. Keep writing, Vic. You do yourself and us a great service.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Maria F. September 20, 2015 / 2:37 pm

    I’ve been a loner al my life; but I’m human also and not dumb. People can sense “the loner” and discriminate. Beware with this label. It can turn against you. I say “I need to go and do something”. It’s a lie, but I feel the “loner” label has done me harm.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Kitt O'Malley September 20, 2015 / 3:09 pm

      Labels can be harmful. You are right. I’m pretty feisty (sensitive, too).


      • Maria F. September 20, 2015 / 3:30 pm

        I know you mean well Kitt, people can say oh “leave her alone she’s a loner”, and you may well be in need NOT to be alone (for whatever reason) so this can be tricky

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Billy September 20, 2015 / 1:33 pm

    Oh totally. I did the test your reader mentioned above and it reflected that shift in personality later. You may be sensitive and wish to please and make people happy with your attention, but it drains you. There is a bit of a conflict when, like you, you prefer the smaller intimate environment but you also want to help others. I am considering the path into becoming a counsellor as a possible compromise. We’ll see!! But I agree, society friend on isolation, and that’s just silly.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley September 20, 2015 / 3:07 pm

      I was a psychotherapist decades ago and helped others as one, but ended up leaving the profession. I maintain my license, as it is a part of me. I worked hard for it, and I have a passion for mental health and helping others.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. hirundine608 September 20, 2015 / 12:48 pm

    H Kitt,
    Have you ever done the Myer-Briggs Personality Test? It may be found on internet and should be free for user. If you do not like the end result MBPI then do it again. Likely will be the same result? Then look up result for key to personality type. I am an INFJ for example. Then if you wish to dig deeper there is plenty of material to aid in this. As well as the demographics of personality types.
    Cheers Jamie.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kitt O'Malley September 20, 2015 / 1:15 pm

      Yes. What’s interesting, is that I believe my personality has changed over the years. I should take it again.

      Liked by 1 person

      • hirundine608 September 20, 2015 / 1:22 pm

        Kitt, I suppose it is always possible. Though usually not by much, I’m told. It is possible to change dichotomy’s. So, It’s always worth a go. It is free for user, after all. Cheers Jamie

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Everything's Coming Up Rosie September 20, 2015 / 12:12 pm

    I teeter between quite social and enjoying my alone time. Spent all of yesterday at a friend’s fundraiser. 8 hours of being around people, talking, laughing and then came home mentally exhausted. So, I’m spending today with myself. Enjoying the solitude.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kitt O'Malley September 20, 2015 / 1:12 pm

      I, too, find the need to recuperate after social occasions. I can be outgoing at fundraisers and other special occasions, but must relax afterwards. If I try to continually meet others’ needs or put myself in a social context daily, I start ramping.

      Liked by 1 person

        • Kitt O'Malley September 21, 2015 / 11:43 am

          Yes, that can be hard. My husband understands. For others, I’ve found that I simply need to articulate my need. I’m open about my bipolar diagnosis, so I explain that social stimulation triggers hypomania.


  6. Lizzy September 20, 2015 / 12:00 pm

    I can relate. Just don’t draw the blinds and sit in the dark avoiding all life has to offer.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kitt O'Malley September 20, 2015 / 1:11 pm

      Nice imagery. Yes, the world is a beautiful place. I still have plenty of love in my life, too. I am married, and I’m a mother. Plus, we have two dogs.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Leslie September 20, 2015 / 11:58 am

    I’m always small groups or by myself. I prefer it that way

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley September 20, 2015 / 1:09 pm

      Thanks, Blah. Miss you, but taking a break from reading so much content about bipolar and mental illness.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Josh Wrenn September 20, 2015 / 11:30 am

    I go back and forth. Like Friday and Saturday night I was very happy to be home alone. Today I’m going out to watch the afternoon football games at a sports bar with a friend and can’t wait. In fact I gotta get ready!!!

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Anonymous September 20, 2015 / 11:25 am

    I am the same way, I enjoy solitude and peace, don’t have many friends, my bi polar illness has ruined so many friendships that I have learned to be content alone. My sister was always social with so many friends, I am the opposite I choose solitude. Nothing wrong with that.

    Liked by 2 people

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