Worn Out

Tired Collage

Exhausted

Overwhelmed
Not thinking clearly
Not able to complete sentences
Not able to answer direct questions

Fumbling with language
With spoken language
With what I hear
With what I read

So sleepy
Feared falling asleep
Driving to doctor’s office

Door locked
Looked at calendar
Over an hour early

Went back to parked car
Overlooking hill of eucalyptus
Enjoyed view

Tolerated gardeners
Noisy leaf blowers
Those things should be illegal

Wish I had slept
That extra hour
Though not sure
It would have helped

Seems there’s no refilling
This empty tank
No overcoming
This fatigue right now

Seasonal and situational
Wait it out?
Perhaps
Not sure

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32 thoughts on “Worn Out

  1. nshami14 October 21, 2015 / 4:29 pm

    Hope u are sleeping right now and not reading this. :-] I like valerian & lavender tea and solitary confinement in my room until I rest. Hard to shut down, but sooooo necessary.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley October 21, 2015 / 7:36 pm

      I’m going to lay down in my room without my laptop. Thanks for the advice. I have lavender oil which helps.

      Like

  2. debiriley October 21, 2015 / 3:13 pm

    worn out… those words just echoed what I’ve been thinking, and caught my eye. I hope, you will be able to get, take, steal, from somewhere – the time to get some decent, adequate rest and recovery time. Enough to do the Job!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Just Plain Ol' Vic October 21, 2015 / 2:07 pm

    Rest up Kitt. I would offer to sing you a lullaby but I think that would have the opposite effect! 😉 Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. bipolarfirst October 21, 2015 / 2:04 pm

    This is such a great window into this place that happens in us.

    Yes. Leaf blowers are tranquility smashers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley October 21, 2015 / 7:35 pm

      My son is particularly sensitive to noise. When I’m hypomanic, I can hear my husband chewing in another room. Hyper-sensitive.

      Like

    • Kitt O'Malley October 21, 2015 / 1:41 pm

      Already taking Vit D & did gardening (natural Vit D). Probably need more sleep. Getting at least 7-8 hours. Perhaps I need more right now.

      Like

      • Petal and Mortar October 21, 2015 / 1:44 pm

        I am definitely sleep-deficient right now, which is making one AID flare up. Not good. Yet I am still awake reading blogs. Sigh. I never learn.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. dyane October 21, 2015 / 1:04 pm

    Love you, rest up – we all understand here.

    I forgot if you told me that you use a SunBox or similar therapeutic bright light for seasonal affective disorder. f not please-please get one. I love mine.

    http://www.sunbox.com/product-category/10000-lux-bright-lights/

    I got it long before I was diagnosed with any mood disorder! I just felt low and it was fall and I read some magazine article about them adn they sounded good to me. I use the SunBox DL (desk light) and I got it in the late 1990’s for $250 – it’s even lower $ now: $189. Some insurance companies even reimburse for it with a doctor’s note,although mine didn’t.

    Also my pdoc made me start taking vitamin D3 a while back as I tested a bit too low for it in my blood panel, and of course I can’t remember the min. dose he wanted but it was more than what’s on my bottle.

    Sorry to be Mrs. Fixit here – I just want you to feel better!!

    XOXOOXOXXOXOXOO
    Dy

    p.s. Of course I can always drive down there with my assistant Lucy and I’ll give you my special ketamine/chocolate Talenti gelato injection!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley October 21, 2015 / 1:39 pm

      Thanks. I have to be careful with sun boxes – too much light irritates me and triggers hypomania. I do take D3. Not deficient.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. bpnurse October 21, 2015 / 12:57 pm

    I’m so sorry, Kitt. I know where you’re coming from, and you have my sympathies. Hang in there…it does get better.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Leslie October 21, 2015 / 12:39 pm

    I hate times like that. I’m sorry you’re going through it, Kitt.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Laura Droege October 21, 2015 / 12:34 pm

    I hope you get some sleep, Kitt! You’re too valuable of a person to walk around sleep-deprived and energy depleted. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley October 21, 2015 / 1:35 pm

      Thank you. I’ve been sleeping, but apparently I need more right now.

      Like

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