Grief — Moving Forward

An Irish Toast: May you be in Heaven a half hour before the Devil knows you're dead.
In Loving Memory of My Father. No Doubt He Made it through the Pearly Gates.

Wednesday my mother gave me artwork and books to remove from her room, the room she formerly shared with my father.

My sister and I grew up with this prayer prominently displayed. I will give the original to my sister to remember our father.

The Arabian horses graced the wall above my father’s desk. I plan to reframe and put them a place of honor in my home.

Green-blue rubbing of three Arabian horses
This rubbing of Arabian horses hung above my Dad’s desk

Yesterday my mother had me take my father’s clothes home with me. She is moving forward.

Dry-eyed, I hugged my mother, articulating what she can no longer say due to aphasia from her stroke. “I miss him, too, Mom. He loved us all so well. We loved him. We miss him.”

More and more lately I’ve cried, both alone and over the phone with my sister.

We are grieving.



24 thoughts on “Grief — Moving Forward

  1. Elizabeth Craig October 2, 2018 / 10:37 am

    Grief is much like standing still and moving forward all at the same time, an awkward dance of tears and joy so to speak. I love the treasured memory you have.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Paladin August 19, 2018 / 7:13 am

    Like the Irish Toast plaque phrase. You currently are making a good trip down memory lane.

    Need only say Kudos for what you dealt with the last few months, Kitt. God Bless + Namaste !!!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Lekha August 18, 2018 / 6:09 am

    It is hard but moving forward is the only way
    Stay strong

    Liked by 2 people

  4. dyane August 17, 2018 / 8:44 pm

    Sorry I missed your call yesterday—I was attempting to referee a ridiculously stupid fight between AVi & Rilla about borrowing a shirt!!! I think of you all the time. I’d like to connect soon–it will be easier to do that as the girls start school on Monday

    The Arabian Horses are absolutely stunning – there’s something mystical about them and having the rubbing where you can see them is a perfect reminder of your dad.

    It’s so healthy to cry. I know it’s deeply painful to do it, but I’m glad you’re able to express yourself that way. I also think it’s positive and profound that you can share your tears with your sister. So many people are closed off and wouldn’t dream of being vulnerable like that, either alone or with a sibling. I know you’re not trying to win any crying medals, my dear friend! I just think it’s good you’re grieving instead of stuffing it.

    Good news your mom is able to part with your father’s meaningful objects and practical items

    As always, love you…..

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kitt O'Malley August 18, 2018 / 1:25 pm

      Thank you, Dyane. Life is much easier once kids are back in school. Next week Matthew takes his last two GED exams. Then time for him to sign up for CBT.


  5. Joy Johnston August 17, 2018 / 8:24 pm

    I have a plaque of the Irish Toast as well. I have it hanging above my father’s urn. It makes me smile every time I see it. The horses artwork is beautiful, what a treasure.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Christine Newton August 17, 2018 / 7:25 pm

    My mother passed 22 years ago past march. I’ll never forget her I just learn to cope with each day that passes she was such an inspirational woman. My stepmother will never take her place even though she tries keep your chin up and grieve as much and for as long as you want it gets easier in time Kitt xc

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kitt O'Malley August 18, 2018 / 1:22 pm

      Thank you. So sorry for the loss of your mother. Glad that your memory of her continues to inspire you.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Looking for the Light August 17, 2018 / 2:03 pm

    Grieving is the most difficult process I’ve been thru with my grandparents. It has taken years to close my eyes and now see the good memories and not the last years. You are stronger than you think.

    Liked by 1 person

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