I’ve Been Quiet Lately

Quietly Taking Care. Writing & Doing Less.

I’ve been quiet lately. Out of commission. Taking it easy.

This holiday season brings tough firsts. First Thanksgiving since my father died in April. First Christmas coming up. My sister and I plan to remember him and observe our family Christmas traditions. We need each other. We miss our dad.

Seasonal affective disorder hit hard, too. As the days got shorter, I cocooned, became seasonally and situationally depressed. Seasonal depression, bipolar disorder and now my grief overwhelm me at times.

Taking care of myself….mostly. Seeing my psychiatrist and psychologist. Going to a grief support group at Jewish Federation & Family Services. Reaching out and asking for help, for support, when I need it.

SO IMPORTANT that you ask for and accept help. My insight into my need for help, reaching out for it and accepting it, has KEPT ME ALIVE.

When I was 18 years old and suicidal, realizing I needed help, asking for it and accepting it made all the difference.

24 thoughts on “I’ve Been Quiet Lately

  1. Bella Sasa December 13, 2018 / 9:09 am

    Hi Kitt, sorry for your loss. Keep strong

    Liked by 1 person

  2. jenchaos76 December 11, 2018 / 1:53 am

    I’m sorry for your loss and I know personally how hard the Holidays can be. You see, I lost custody of my two oldest children in 2004. I live in Ohio they live in California.
    Add that to seasonal depression and bipolar and well I’m a mess. I don’t know what or how I will do when my parents pass. I know I am never going to be ready for it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley December 11, 2018 / 10:06 am

      I’m so sorry that you lost custody of your two oldest children. That’s a huge loss. Do you maintain a relationship with them over the geographical distance by phone or online?

      My father had dementia, but died of undiagnosed lung cancer. I loved him and miss him dearly, but it was his time to pass.

      Liked by 1 person

      • jenchaos76 December 11, 2018 / 10:25 am

        Oh, I would be so heartbroken. I do not get along with my father, but I would be so upset if something happened to him.

        Yes, I talk to my children several times a week.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Kitt O'Malley December 12, 2018 / 12:39 pm

          Wonderful that you keep in contact with your children. Clearly, you love them.

          Liked by 1 person

          • jenchaos76 December 12, 2018 / 2:02 pm

            I believe I make a difference in the lives of my children. I have to believe that or I would feel terrible.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Kitt O'Malley December 13, 2018 / 1:31 pm

            You do. Knowing you care, that you love them, makes a difference, a huge difference. You didn’t lose custody because you didn’t love them.

            Liked by 1 person

  3. Khara December 10, 2018 / 3:03 pm

    Sorry to hear about your loss. I know how it’s been. I once had 3 deaths to cope with in 1 year, and now I’ve finally grieved enough. If you need someone to chat with, I’m here.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley December 10, 2018 / 10:12 pm

      Thank you, Khara. 3 deaths in one year must have been overwhelming. Glad that you’ve allowed yourself to grieve.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. bpnurse December 10, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    It sounds like you’re doing a lot of reflection, which is normal this time of year. Taking stock of what we’ve lost, and what we’ve gained, over a year of living is a valuable use of time. I’m sorry you’re sad, and hope this holiday season won’t be too difficult for you. Grief seems to be magnified at this time of the year, and it doesn’t help to have seasonal depression raise its ugly head. Thinking of you and sending hugs across the miles.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley December 10, 2018 / 1:00 pm

      Bittersweet in some ways. Grief is not all bad. I loved my dad and he loved us dearly. Testament to how much he loved us.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. dyane December 9, 2018 / 7:52 am

    We’re so conditioned to go it alone and not ask for help, aren’t we?

    That’s why I loved how you ended this post with such an important reminder:

    It’s absolutely essential for those of us struggling to ask for help

    because that action is what has kept you alive!

    Thank you for always being honest, for always caring about your followers’ best interest.

    Much love,

    Dy

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kitt O'Malley December 9, 2018 / 4:11 pm

      We need each other. We cannot see inside each other’s minds, so we must reach out and ask for help. Those who remain silent are at highest risk.

      Like

  6. Christine Newton December 9, 2018 / 4:07 am

    Aw hunni this time of year is always hard and more so for me and you and everybody who has lost a loved one or family member. I lost two of my friends this year and miss my family members who have passed on too. Keep smiling and make sure you always get support throughout the festive season. Sending massive hugs Kitt

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kitt O'Malley December 9, 2018 / 4:09 pm

      I send you my deepest felt condolences, Christine. Really hard when places are missing at the table during the holidays. Hugs to you, too.

      Like

  7. Anonymous December 8, 2018 / 2:40 pm

    Such a difficult time of year. Do you have a happy light? It was one of the first things I bought when we moved to the PNW.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kitt O'Malley December 9, 2018 / 4:08 pm

      Now I live in So Cal. 2006-2007 we moved to the PNW to be closer to in-laws. I really suffered from SAD then, sleeping throughout the day and falling asleep while driving. My psychiatrist recommended I get a light therapy lamp if we chose to stay. Instead, we chose what she (my pdoc) called “the geographic cure” — we moved back to sunnier climes.

      Like

  8. Cassandra Stout December 8, 2018 / 1:31 pm

    Grief is a powerful thing. I pray that you’ll recover from your situational depression and that you’re able to remember your father at Christmas time with your sister.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kitt O'Malley December 9, 2018 / 4:04 pm

      I will recover. Grief comes in waves. SAD is temporary and cyclical. Thank you.

      Like

  9. Liz December 8, 2018 / 1:27 pm

    So sorry to hear of your loss. Take this year easy, in the way you need to do with yourself and your sister.

    Liked by 3 people

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