Love, Marriage & Mental Illness

Happy Anniversary to My Beloved! Love, Marriage & Mental Illness. KittOMalley.com
There’s hope. You can find and nurture love when living with mental illness.

Been married 22 years today. Started dating 25 years ago. Some of us living with mental illness can and do have stable relationships. Some of us need someone else in our lives. My husband and I support each other, help each other, complement each other. Plus, we made a kid, now a young adult.

Not easy. Not by any means. Stressful to love someone with mental illness or another chronic illness. Caretaking is not easy. But, it’s worth it. At least for us it has been.

Important that you express gratitude. I’m thankful for all my husband does for me and our son. Thank you, sweetheart.

I Will Not Cry Now

pixelated family tree

To avoid feeling overwhelmed and hold back the tears due to loss, stress and worry, I’ve started delving into my ancestry online.

My therapist reframed what I was doing as focusing, rather than avoidance. She thought it was healthy.

Now that my father has passed away and my mother’s health has faltered, I’m really, really sad. I miss them both.

My father is gone. My mother is still with us, but I miss speaking with her, playing word games with her, walking with her, taking her out for lunch.

The pain at times overwhelms me. I don’t want to fall into bipolar depression, hypomania, or mood cycling.

To stave off the pain, I click through the family tree, digging further and further back.

Hate when hit dead ends, especially when it comes to my mother’s beloved Irish grandmother with whom she lived when she attended college.

Exhausted While Bipolar

I'm Bipolar & I'm Exhausted
Exhausted by life stressors. Understandably so. I have this. Just takes a LOT of energy.

Recently I’ve been totally overwhelmed and exhausted. A virus almost took my mother’s life. Thank God she survived.

Loving someone who is struggling for their life is hard. Really hard.

I, too, was sick and avoided seeing my mother until she got so sick that cross-contamination was no longer an issue.

Now, I’m still recovering, physically and emotionally. Exhausted. Totally exhausted.

I’m at a Loss…

im-at-aloss

My son has missed WAY too much school this year. He’s attending a private school where he gets one-on-one attention and learns at his own pace, so he simply falls behind and the charges for missed classes just keep adding up.

He had gastroenteritis earlier this year (which we all had and which we all still have lingering GI symptoms from). This morning he complained that he had a migraine. I do not know whether he truly has a migraine, for his symptoms are not as severe as they were before he took preventive medication.

Our psychiatrist has told me that I should stop taking Matthew to health care specialists, that he needs to learn to live with migraines, and that I am enabling him. Hard to have your child live with chronic, cyclic pain and vomiting. Those in the mental health profession tend to pathologize physical symptoms as “somatic” and dismiss very real suffering and pain. I, too, have been guilty of doing so in the past with both my son and my husband.

Yes, I’m at a loss as to what to do, as to how best to care for my son and myself.