Category: Bipolar Disorder
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ALPIM Anxiety-Laxity-Pain-Immune-Mood
Many of us living with mental illness have other chronic illnesses. Often we are not treated for our “physical” illnesses, as many doctors dismiss them as psychosomatic. “Mental” illnesses ARE “physical” illnesses, and “physical” illnesses affect our “mental” illnesses. We are not just our brains, just our bodies, just our minds, just our feelings, or just our souls.…
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Walking the Line
Living with bipolar is like walking on a tightrope, trying to maintain my balance, fearful of each step I take. As a young adult, I didn’t understand what triggered my highs and lows. I saw depression as a problem, but I didn’t fully understand the role of workaholism, overachievement, and perfectionism, even as I crashed…
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Writing to Discipline My Thoughts
This morning I attended an OC Writers’ write-in. I haven’t attended a writers’ group in a long time. Been isolating myself and focusing on my son rather than my writing, rather than myself. Today, I left him home in bed, then left the meeting early to get him to class on time. When I got…
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Silent Lately
I haven’t written in a while, nor have I read or commented on others’ posts. I used to write brief reviews after reading a book. Recently, I’ve simply left stars on Amazon and Good Reads. Why? Because I simply needed to recover. Recovering not from an episode of bipolar disorder – though I do live…
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Diagnosing Bipolar II #DavidLeite #NotesOnABanana
Quoted excellent psychiatric diagnostic interview for bipolar II from Chapter 33 of David Leite’s Notes on a Banana – a Memoir of Food, Love, and Manic Depression.
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Thank You, Treatment Team
Assuming that my therapist, Brynne Lum, LMFT, was not available (she’s very popular), I called my psychiatrist to see if he was available. He was! Yay! Alex Michelson, MD saw me, listened to me, and reassured me that it sounds like I’m exhausted, which is understandable considering all that I’ve done in the last year…
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Rejected
Just got rejected by an online psychotherapist using LiveHealthOnline. Ouch. Slap in face. No doubt because of my bipolar diagnosis. I understand that online therapy is not always appropriate. The therapist in question may not have had the proper background and training. Still, it hurts, and I remain… I don’t know… Vulnerable… Feeling in need…
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Mind Spinning
Mind spinning In circles Like a hamster On a wheel Racing Round and round Going nowhere Going nowhere Too quickly To safely Get off Mind spinning Sick to my stomach Let me off This ride Right now Please slow down Please brake Cannot take it Anymore Maybe I shouldn’t Have had Two cups of Coffee…
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Spring Brings Hypomania
This year, as winter has ended and spring has begun, I’ve taken it slowly and protected myself from overstimulation. You have not heard from me as much, as I’ve not been as active writing here or on social media. You see, springtime triggers hypomania in me. Now I’m experiencing mild hypomania, irritability, and some mixed…
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Who Do I Care For, Really?
I spend way too much emotional and physical energy toward the care of others, aside from myself. Why do I care so much, too much? No doubt due to my upbringing, to my relationship to my parents – trying to please, to earn their love and approval. Why, after decades of therapy, do I still feel and act as…