March 2015 I posted this poem as we mourned the loss of my husband’s oldest brother to lung cancer. My father recently died of undiagnosed lung cancer in spite of having quit smoking decades before he died.
I share it again to remind myself that grief is a blessing. We feel it because we love.
There is something both beautiful and sorrowful when someone or something dies. Something spiritual lives on. Love persists and is a blessing. I do not deny the pain of grief, but believe that death is a part of life, and that grief is a part of loving. There is no way to love without experiencing grief at one time or another.
Nick, I adore you and am beyond grateful for all you do as father to our son.
Recently I pulled out photographs to remember my father on Father’s Day. Brought back fond memories and tears. Good tears. Tears of love, tears of gratitude that he had been my father and grandfather to my son. My dad was a loving and involved father and grandfather. He loved us deeply. He loved us well.
Those photos reminded me of how lucky I am to have my husband by my side. He’s a loving father and devoted husband. Since my pregnancy, he’s been a hands-on father — affectionate and involved. He adores his son. He even flexed his working hours so that I could go back to work when our son was an infant.
Thank you, Dad. I love and miss you.
Thank you, Nick. I love you.
I love you both to the moon and back, to infinity and beyond.
Find a place [she] can call home that is peaceful and safe and affordable.
Thank You, My Love, for All You Do
Thank God my husband, a civil engineer, provides for us well. He makes life much less stressful for me. Honestly, he shoulders that stress. He does a lot around the house — too much, for which I feel guilty that I’m not doing my fair share.
Over a decade ago, I kept our house immaculate, like something out of Architectural Digest. I was an overachiever at home and at work, but didn’t take care of myself and was not available to adequately care for our son. Since overworking led to voluntary psychiatric hospitalization, I’ve made caring for myself and our son a priority, and put housework on the backburner.
I’m truly blessed to have my husband in my life. He’s my caregiver, and I’m grateful for all he does. Thank you.
Thank you, clinical psychologist and mental health advocate David Susman PhD, for steadfastly supporting fellow mental health advocates and sharing science-based information and resources at DavidSusman.com. Congratulations on three years as a mental health blogger.
Dr. Susman recently shared how I found purpose living with bipolar disorder, Your Life Has Purpose, in his Stories of Hope, a series of interviews with people living with mental health challenges, highlighting what they’ve learned.