What If I Don’t Blog About Bipolar?


Recently I’ve been blogging about caregiving and about exhaustion more than about living with bipolar disorder. That said, obviously coping with major life events, such as taking on the role of caregiver of two parents struggling with dementia, is a HUGE stressor and potential trigger for mood cycling.

Cocooning in bed right now. Treated myself to two luxurious nights on two separate weekends as payment for all the work I’ve done. I coordinate my parents’ care, pay their bills, cleared out their house of their personal belongings with the help of an estate sales company, took multiple construction bids while we considered remodeling and leasing it, and now I’m our sales agent’s main contact. Luckily my parents made an excellent decision when they bought their beach house in the 70’s. The proceeds from its sale will enable my sister and I to take care of our parents.

Structure

Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup

When my husband or son stay home because they are ill, I lose the structure around which I organize my day and my self. I need the book ends of bringing my son to and from school, having my husband go to work and come home. When they are home needing me, needing attention, needing soup and crackers, I lose something of my self. I feel depleted, exhausted. My boundaries need reinforcement. My sense of self does not thrive under these circumstances. I am not well-suited to be a full-time around-the-clock caretaker. They’ve been sick on and off since Christmas. I am so weary.