Kitt O’Malley

Bad Mom

in , , ,

Bad mom
Selfish mom
Ineffective mom
Permissive mom
Bipolar mom
At times, abusive mom
At times, out of control mom
At times, rageful mom
She’s even hit her kid
She’s even slapped her kid
No excuse
No excuse to hit a child
No excuse to slap a child

At my son’s request, I revised this poem, comments, and replies. My son would have preferred that I delete the poem entirely. Since I think that explosive anger and loss of control when disciplining a child is an important issue to address, I am taking ownership of my behavior and not sharing his behavior. He is, after all, a minor, and he deserves respect and privacy.

Though an accurate description of my behavior on more than one occasion, this poem is not the whole story. I like to think I am, or at least I try to be, a devoted loving mother.

Comments

  1. Burns. – Kitt O'Malley

    […] That’s not to say that I do not cycle or that I’m asymptomatic – I’ve screamed at and hit my son, I’ve flipped the kitchen table and slammed doors, I’ve been psychotic and struggled […]

  2. Bad Mom – Spoken Word for Tha.Speakeasy – Kitt O'Malley

    […] by an invite to Tha.Speakeasy Facebook event on April 17th & 18th, I read my poem, Bad Mom, which I’m posting here. Just have to remember to post it to Tha.Speakeasy. Hootsuite will […]

  3. Childhood Trauma of Parental Mental Illness #1000Speak for Compassion – Kitt O'Malley

    […] reason I wrote Suicide Infanticide and Bad Mom – aside from the poems forcing themselves out of me to voice disturbing thoughts I had kept […]

  4. Private? No, Not I | Kitt O'Malley

    […] they are intelligent (yes, I boast). My mother and I share personality characteristics. As a mother, as a mother struggling with a chronic illness, I feel compassion. When I was a teen and a young […]

  5. hollygoodyear Avatar
    hollygoodyear

    Of which I have three dogs who consume the bedtime air space! LOL!

  6. Kitt O'Malley Avatar
    Kitt O’Malley

    I LOVE the growl idea. Gets the point across, uses humor, and the dogs understand, too.

  7. hollygoodyear Avatar
    hollygoodyear

    I think I slapped myself more than mom my slapped me. When she did I knew I was deserving. My self abuse as a child on the other hand, not so pretty. Now, well we don’t slap. A good growl does well in my house. The Growl hides the teeth tho which do exist! Blessings to all mommas!
    H

  8. Kitt O'Malley Avatar
    Kitt O’Malley

    Thank you.

  9. stockdalewolfe Avatar
    stockdalewolfe

    We were slapped as kids. Most of our friends were, too. An honest and heartfelt post. Anger in Bipolar Disorder is hard to control, isn’t it. I am working on it, too. One of two or three biggest challenges, especially with loved ones who know which buttons to push. Thanks for posting.

  10. Kitt O'Malley Avatar
    Kitt O’Malley

    How about running away from an irate mother bearing a wooden spoon? Kids know how to get on their mom’s last nerve. Often, my mom would delegate discipline to my father once he got home from work. Good way to maintain distance from fury in the moment.

  11. hastywords Avatar
    hastywords

    I remember getting slapped a few times growing up…

  12. Kitt O'Malley Avatar
    Kitt O’Malley

    Thank you so much, Cartier.

  13. Cartier Luvit Avatar
    Cartier Luvit

    Kitt:
    The most difficult position one could hold is “parent.” Baby-boomers are well aware of consequences for mishaving or disrespecting elders, or anyone for that matter. Children never had it so good!
    I have my rules as well. Four of them are-no back talk, no swearing, drinking, or poor quality music in my home. I need peace where a sign reads, ” Home Sweet Home.”
    Communicating works when our children and we listen and hear equally.
    It’s the ultimate challenge in life to raise a child or children. I wish you the best of parenthood.
    As for me- mine are grown, but each of my four rules have been etched in stone.
    Good luck, Kitt!; this letter has been sincerely written.

  14. Kitt O'Malley Avatar
    Kitt O’Malley

    Thank you, Shailaja. Even we doting mom’s lose our cool.

  15. Shailaja/ The Moving Quill Avatar
    Shailaja/ The Moving Quill

    Kitt, this was a brave poem. One that must have been difficult to write. And I salute you. As a mom who has been working on her triggers to yelling and owning up to her behaviour, this poem is something I can identify with very well. Kudos to you.

  16. Kitt O'Malley Avatar
    Kitt O’Malley

    Thank you.

  17. philsblog01 Avatar
    philsblog01

    You know what is best for your son, that is for sure.

  18. Kitt O'Malley Avatar
    Kitt O’Malley

    Yes. Certainly the few occasions when I slapped my son are not the highlights of my parenting career. I felt and still feel horrible and apologized to my son for my behavior.

  19. philsblog01 Avatar
    philsblog01

    Times change, I hope for the better, you will have to decide.

  20. Kitt O'Malley Avatar
    Kitt O’Malley

    Not my proudest parenting moment, for sure.

  21. dyane Avatar
    dyane

    Much of this poem is me…it’s my life.

    I’ve been called words by my young daughters. I’ve slapped one of my girls for being rude once – her shocked, hurt expression will never leave me. I’ve spanked my kids on rare occasions. When I spank my child, it absolutely sucks for the two of us; those are very low points for me to reach emotionally when I spank my kid.

    Thanks for yet another authentic, brave and powerful poem!

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