#Thankful for Support

Beardless iris and daisy watercolor with

Thank you to my son for exercising more independence as I’ve been busy attending to my parents’ affairs, to my husband for everything from chipping in around the house to loving me deeply and devotedly, to my sister as we support each other in making decisions on our parents’ behalf now that they are unable to do so, to our extended family for supporting our decisions and loving us, to my friends, neighbors and online support network for being there, to the Silverado Memory Care Community in San Juan Capistrano for offering my parents’ excellent care and me support and respite, to Jane Mahakian, PhD of Aging Matters for facilitating care and helping my parents and me with this difficult life transition, to Rory Barish of Lane Four Real Estate for representing us as we negotiate leasing our parents’ home, to Steve Shields, CFP for helping with our parents’ financial planning, to my mental health providers, Brynne Lum, LMFT and Alex Michelson, MD, for helping me cope.

Much of the support I have access to is thanks to my parents’ savings. Few have such resources and do not have access to the same care options. That is tragic. Everyone needs access to excellent health care and excellent long term care. Not just those fortunate enough to have significant savings (or adequate long term care insurance) in their senior years.

Honestly, I never could do it without all of you. Thank you. God bless you all.

Together Again

Mom and Dad Together AgainFinally, my parents are back together again since my mother had an acute front left lobe stroke in mid-November. We’ve taken my father to visit my mother in stroke rehab, but tonight they sleep together.  No longer is my father in memory care in one facility and my mother in stroke rehab in another.

Guilt Rears Its Head

Even with caregiver help, it’s been tough. Friday one of my mother’s occupational therapists told me she had asked nursing staff if my mother had been receiving any visitors. After being “on” since 11/14, I took time “off” to recuperate. My mother did not respond well. She refused to go to physical therapy and instead packed her bags. After a nurse called me, I raced over with my father to calm her down. Tough. I’m wracked with guilt.

Finally, I Cry

  
Monday, I joined my mother for music therapy after which I told her I had to take my son to school. I had a few hours before his class began, but I needed a break. Tuesday, I didn’t visit either of my parents. I cared only for my son and myself. Today I sit in the car as my son takes his one hour class, and I allow myself to cry.