Kitt O’Malley

Category: Bipolar Parenting

  • Hello, Summer

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    Summer is here. This will be my son’s last summer before starting high school. How exciting! (I’m so proud!) Time for me to savor mothering him before it’s too late. In four short years he’ll graduate from high school and leave for college. No doubt we’ll be hitting the mountain biking trails during the day. He’s an avid downhill…

  • Suicide Infanticide

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    Long, long ago When my son was very, very young I thought of killing myself But what about my son? I can’t leave him behind Well then, I’ll take him with me Oh, my God! That’s where it comes from That’s why mothers take their children’s lives When depressed and suicidal They do not want…

  • Bad Mom

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    Bad mom Selfish mom Ineffective mom Permissive mom Bipolar mom At times, abusive mom At times, out of control mom At times, rageful mom She’s even hit her kid She’s even slapped her kid No excuse No excuse to hit a child No excuse to slap a child At my son’s request, I revised this poem,…

  • Thanks on Father’s Day

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    Tonight, as I sit beside my husband watching videos of our son downhill mountain biking earlier today, I decided to express my gratitude in celebration of Father’s Day. My husband is a private man, and on more than one occasion he has warned me not to boast. So to keep my boasting to a minimum,…

  • The Rebel and His Mother

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    The Rebel When my son was a preschooler in daycare His class had a field trip to the local In ‘N Out As we walked back to the daycare center My son held my hand We walked in pairs down the sidewalk His daycare teacher said Everyone stay on sidewalk Do not step into the…

  • From Age Thirty to Thirty-Seven

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    After I had my breakdown at age thirty, I moved back in with my parents. I found I wasn’t able to function on my own. I would fall asleep driving to my temporary job with Kaiser. When at the job, I couldn’t even read. The words were all jumbled. I appeared competent. No one could…

  • Chafing at Structure?

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    Tuesday April 29th I went to group therapy and attended my first Toastmasters meeting. Toastmasters was very structured, probably too structured for my tastes; though, the structure worked well in that they covered a lot of ground in one hour. Mentioned in group that I completed my continuing education units to renew my Marriage and…

  • Regrets

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    Regret Not Being a Good Enough Mother Feeling sick, difficult to sit with how I have parented my son. It’s been hard, but I have done my best. I feel sorry for him. He complains that I yell at him, that I am abusive, too loud. That he experiences me as abusive kills me, causes…

  • Exhausted

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    Starting to recuperate from the last two weeks. Still exhausted. Sleepless nights, partly due to hypomania and stress, partly to dogs whining to go out in the wee hours of the morning. Too much 24/7 parenting. Home with my son almost two weeks, first when he had the stomach flu, second for spring break. Easter…

  • Postpartum

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    Thoughts and urges Never disclosed Never shared Until now Little baby boy Pretty rose between his legs So pretty Want to take him in my mouth So yummy Want to eat him up Unsettling urges No rhyme or reason Thoughts that pass Memory remains Urges not actions Still disturbing Is this what it means? “So…