Category: Grief
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Overwhelmed by Grief and COVID19
Why Have I Been Quiet? Shortly after my mother died last year, COVID19 hit. My energy is sapped. Staying home during this horrific pandemic, I’ve cocooned with those I love most: my husband and our son. I cannot predict when or what I’ll be writing next. I cannot predict when I’ll return to mental health…
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#Grief, #COVID19 & Fever
Grief Reading this post, I fear that I come off as self-centered, concerned more with my physical health than grieving my mother’s death. Perhaps that’s denial. It’s hard to properly grieve when dealing with health issues amid a pandemic. As I mentioned in my February 24th post, my mother died last January. Since our mother…
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Grieving, Not Writing
My mother died last month. My sister hosted a lovely family memorial for her this past weekend. I put together a slideshow, for which my uncle, my mother’s brother, related stories of their childhood. Now, my mind is mush. Grief mind. I do easy crosswords. My mother was an excellent crossword puzzler, unlike me, she…
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Balancing Act Self-Published to Amazon Kindle for Now
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Bipolar Kicks My Ass
When I met with my psychiatrist yesterday, we discussed my diagnosis. I learned that since I’ve been hospitalized for bipolar symptoms, my diagnosis is type 1, not type 2. Since I’ve been ramping since July third, we agreed it was time to add low dose quetiapine (Seroquel), a sedating and mood-stabilizing antipsychotic, to my medication…
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My Eulogy to Grandma
This afternoon I came across the memorial announcement for my grandmother’s death (which brought tears to my eyes) and the eulogy I wrote for her memorial (which I share with you, for I still believe that God calls us to carry on). My Eulogy to Grandma February 1993 I brought this quilt here today because,…
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Small Steps
Progress sometimes comes in small steps. This weekend I walked the dog with my husband, which meant I stepped away from my computer and actually went outside. Beautiful outside. Weather warm. Sky clear. Saddleback Mountain gorgeous, every nook and cranny visible as if I could reach out and touch it. Honestly, I find it hard…
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Martin Short Quote on Death
Martin Short’s wife Nancy died of cancer after almost 30 years of marriage. I love what he said about death in his AARP interview. I believe that when people die, they zoom into the people that love them. This idea that it just ends, and don’t speak of them — that’s wrong. That’s based on denial…
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I Will Not Cry Now
To avoid feeling overwhelmed and hold back the tears due to loss, stress and worry, I’ve started delving into my ancestry online. My therapist reframed what I was doing as focusing, rather than avoidance. She thought it was healthy. Now that my father has passed away and my mother’s health has faltered, I’m really, really…