Tag: fear
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Fear of Loss
Thursday night I saw my psychologist over the disaster that was Tuesday. First I had her listen to the distraught voice recording I made that night. I told her about my son’s recurring gastroenteritis. He’s suffered from migraines with vomiting since he was a toddler, has gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), and gets gastroenteritis regularly during the…
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Ambivalent about My Dogs
I am ambivalent about posting these dog photos. Although I love my dogs, I am still suffering from PTSD from an incident in which I could not control them, and they viciously attacked a greyhound who had just been attacked by another standard poodle the previous week. I took full responsibility for the attack and…
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Denial Fails Me Now, or F*ck Cancer!!!
In group yesterday afternoon, my psychiatrist recommended genetic testing for hereditary cancer syndromes (of which there are 50). He advocated doing so to guide future medical care, rather than living in denial or in fear. I am not at risk, but my son and husband may be. They are private, as is my large extended family. My husband is one of…
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Grief, Anxiety, and Hypomania
So what brought on this flurry of activity, this bout of defensive hypomania, the birth of this blog at this point in time? Two things: one, I forgot to take valproic acid Thursday night, and, two, my grief in facing my father-in-law’s health crisis. Writing is one way I can deal with my grief, the…