Irritable. Hypomanic. Overwhelmed?
Unfortunately, social stimulation triggers and worsens hypomanic symptoms in me.
Upcoming events that may overstimulate me:
Frustrated with my newly adult 18-year old son who struggles with social anxiety and migraines. Though highly intelligent, he has not completed high school, nor has he taken scheduled high school equivalency tests.
Anxiety. Migraines. Reschedule. Repeat.
Yesterday, he did not go to his scheduled cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) evaluation. The CBT psychologist told me that we must make structured household changes in which we design and implement consequences. As is, he lacks motivation to change.
After drafting this post, I went to the pharmacy to fill my clonazepam prescription. I rarely take clonazepam, a benzodiazepine, for it’s a potentially addictive controlled substance. But, today I need it.
Treated myself to chicken enchiladas mole for lunch. I love Olamendi’s mole sauce. Chocolate and spices in the over 50-ingredient sauce help. Magic.
Now, I chill out.
Frustrating to parent an adolescent who feels sick chronically. Difficult to know if he feels sick because he is sick with a contagious disease, or if he has a migraine, or if he is anxious. Honestly, right now, I’m feeling sick to my stomach. Sick with dread. Dreading a summer trying to get my kid out of his bed, out of his bedroom, out of the house, and to summer school.
This week, I’m going to BlogHer16. This will be my first BlogHer conference, my first blogging conference.
I’m anxious. Worried about not having the energy to participate. Worried about being overwhelmed. Surprised I’m not worried about triggering mood cycling.
Deep breath. Wish me well!
Thursday I met with the Campus Director of my son’s new school, Halstrom Academy. My hand shook as I wrote out the check for tuition. Haven’t paid for school since my son was in daycare back when I worked outside the home.
Starting Monday, my son will take one class a day, one-on-one with a teacher, different subject each day of the week, and will be responsible for completing a week of homework by the next week’s class. When he spends time on campus to complete his work, there is a tutor available to help. We are reintroducing him to a social school setting incrementally. By January, I hope for him to spend Wednesday afternoons there while I volunteer as a NAMI Provider Educator.
Honestly, my hands have shaken ever since Thursday. I hope and pray that this school works for my son. I’ve heard from my therapist and from my son’s neurologist that Halstrom works well for many kids. I have to set aside my bias in favor of socialization and public schooling to find the solution that works best for my son in overcoming social anxiety and getting back on track.