Category: Seasonal Affective Disorder
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May is Mental Health Month and I’m Hypomanic
You may wonder: “How’s Kitt?” Well, a bit high on hypomania, but sleeping well with the help of meds, and titrating off my SSRI (at least during these longer-day seasons which trigger my hypomanic symptoms). What have I been doing with my hypomanic energy and dog-with-a-bone focus? I’ve been active on social media, updating NAMI…
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I've Been Quiet Lately
I’ve been quiet lately. Out of commission. Taking it easy. This holiday season brings tough firsts. First Thanksgiving since my father died in April. First Christmas coming up. My sister and I plan to remember him and observe our family Christmas traditions. We need each other. We miss our dad. Seasonal affective disorder hit hard,…
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Worn Out
Exhausted Overwhelmed Not thinking clearly Not able to complete sentences Not able to answer direct questions Fumbling with language With spoken language With what I hear With what I read So sleepy Feared falling asleep Driving to doctor’s office Door locked Looked at calendar Over an hour early Went back to parked car Overlooking hill…
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Walking the Line
Living with bipolar is like walking on a tightrope, trying to maintain my balance, fearful of each step I take. As a young adult, I didn’t understand what triggered my highs and lows. I saw depression as a problem, but I didn’t fully understand the role of workaholism, overachievement, and perfectionism, even as I crashed…
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Writing to Discipline My Thoughts
This morning I attended an OC Writers’ write-in. I haven’t attended a writers’ group in a long time. Been isolating myself and focusing on my son rather than my writing, rather than myself. Today, I left him home in bed, then left the meeting early to get him to class on time. When I got…
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Mind Spinning
Mind spinning In circles Like a hamster On a wheel Racing Round and round Going nowhere Going nowhere Too quickly To safely Get off Mind spinning Sick to my stomach Let me off This ride Right now Please slow down Please brake Cannot take it Anymore Maybe I shouldn’t Have had Two cups of Coffee…
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Spring Brings Hypomania
This year, as winter has ended and spring has begun, I’ve taken it slowly and protected myself from overstimulation. You have not heard from me as much, as I’ve not been as active writing here or on social media. You see, springtime triggers hypomania in me. Now I’m experiencing mild hypomania, irritability, and some mixed…
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Who Do I Care For, Really?
I spend way too much emotional and physical energy toward the care of others, aside from myself. Why do I care so much, too much? No doubt due to my upbringing, to my relationship to my parents – trying to please, to earn their love and approval. Why, after decades of therapy, do I still feel and act as…
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Worn Out
Exhausted Overwhelmed Not thinking clearly Not able to complete sentences Not able to answer direct questions Fumbling with language With spoken language With what I hear With what I read So sleepy Feared falling asleep Driving to doctor’s office Door locked Looked at calendar Over an hour early Went back to parked car Overlooking hill…
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Bipolar Disorder and Seasonal Affective Disorder
Outside a cacophony of birds outside loudly pronounce that they have important work to do, nests to build, eggs to lay, offspring to bring into the world. Spring has sprung. The sun is bright. The season of rebirth is here. Hypomania is officially here, as well, folks. Yes, I have concurrent bipolar disorder and seasonal affective disorder.…