Today I went to a writers’ meetup, and now I am just wiped out. Social stimulation exhausts me. I had a great time, but I’m just not up for it. Just not up for two hours of conversation. Damn fucking brain disorder. I HATE bipolar disorder. My brain is FRIED.
I, too, am not okay, and I’m okay with it. Often other people do not understand what they cannot see. For many years I wondered, do other people think like this? Do other people have to tell themselves not to drive off that cliff, not to push that stranger in front of the BART train, not to hang up the telephone in mid-conversation – for no reason whatsoever? I used to think, if so, then why aren’t more people driving off cliffs, pushing people in front of subway trains, and rudely hanging up the phone mid-sentence. They are not doing these things, yet I have to tell myself over and over not to do it. For years I struggled with manic symptoms, intrusive thoughts and disturbing impulses, without knowing what they were. Without realizing that I had a treatable mental illness. I knew I was depressed. I mean wanting to kill yourself was clearly a symptom of depression. That I got. The other stuff, not so much.
May Oscar Wilde’s quote inspire you to be, love, and accept yourself.
Thank you Colleen Chesebro at SilverThreading.com for this week’s open invitation to quote a writer. This week she quoted Theodore Roosevelt. Check out the Theodore Roosevelt quote and learn more about Colleen Chesebro‘s Writer’s Quote Wednesday at SilverThreading.com.
Maybe you want to share a great writer’s quote…
Since my interview with NAMI on Thursday about volunteer opportunities I’ve been hypomanic – so easily overstimulated. Hardly got any sleep last night and today I feel wiped out, fried, extra crispy.