Grieving

Grieving -- KittOMalley.com
Geometry art created with iOrnament app.

Grieving, not depressed. No bipolar depression. No depressive thought process. Just grief. Just a deep overwhelming feeling of loss. 

I miss my father. Miss him deeply and dearly.

Going to individual therapy and taking my medications for bipolar disorder, but now may be time for additional support, time for a grief support group, preferrably one led by an excellent licensed mental health professional.

As a licensed clinician, I have a bias. I need a group leader with advanced clinical knowledge of serious mental illness like bipolar disorder, as well as grief. As someone with bipolar disorder and a history of depression, I’m at risk of complicated grief.

Not only did my father recently die, my mother is a stroke survivor living with vascular dementia. She lives in memory care, but wants me to visit more often than I can afford to emotionally.

Squeezed between generations, I cheer my newly adult son as he takes steps to overcome social anxiety and manage his migraines. Until he gets his driver’s license, I chauffeur him to and from specialists’ appointments.

Rather than spend all my time and energy caring for the needs of others, I must care for myself. My personal boundaries are poor. Groups overwhelm me. I take care of others, not myself. Find myself overstimulated and become mildly hypomanic. Perform, rather than sit, listen and accept help from others.

Always a been performer, love being onstage, enjoy public speaking. Now’s not the time to be the center of attention, to be right, to be smart, to solve problems, to be the hero.

My brain isn’t functioning at its best. Grief-related brain fog. Can’t concentrate. Can’t remember. Simply overwhelmed emotionally. Often, I often can’t even come up with a simple word to answer a question my husband asks. Cannot make a yes or no decision.

Today I deleted emails of great content I would usually share as a mental health advocate. I leave that to others for now.

Now, I grieve. Now I cocoon. Now I draw mandalas and patterns using iOrnament. Now I do jigsaw puzzles on my iPad. Now I watch TV.

Now, I cry softly, sometimes gently sob, for the father I love and miss.

Favorite #MentalHealth Email Lists

Mental Health Resources in My Email Inbox
Mental Health News & Information

Those of you who follow me on my social media platforms may notice that I share mental health articles and the latest research.

Where do I get these great articles? My email inbox.

Faves for Research

Faves for Info & Support

Published Author at Last!

My Book Published! Amazon.com/author/kittomalley. Books by Kitt O'Malley, Blogging for Bipolar Mental Health.
Blogging for Bipolar Mental Health published today! Visit Amazon.com/author/kittomalley.

Kindle e-book and paperback are live. Copyright registration claimed. Set up author page on both Amazon and GoodReads. Next will get it ready for IngramSpark for publish on demand through other retailers. So excited.

About Blogging for Bipolar Mental Health

Blogging for Bipolar Mental Health offers hope to those living with mental illness and their loved ones, educates the public about mental health, and fights stigma against those living with mental illness by challenging stereotypes.

Kitt O’Malley’s writing recounts her struggle with bipolar disorder type II, the two decades it took to get a proper diagnosis, and how her journey ultimately gave her purpose – and at times, a sense of religious calling.

Though Ms. O’Malley is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, she hasn’t practiced as a psychotherapist in over twenty years. Both her clinical background and personal experience inform her writing and enable her to help both herself and others toward mental health recovery.

Video Conference

Saturday my niece, Teresa Nichols, interviewed me about my online vision. She has an MBA and her own Cincinnatti based marketing business.

http://reveal.marketing/
LinkedIn.com/in/teresalnichols
Facebook.com/webmarketingtrainer
Twitter.com/bizfunctional

Sorry to my deaf and hard of hearing readers. I tried editing the automatic closed captioning, but found it overwhelming. The interview is over an hour long. As a writer, I found myself editing what we actually said, and decided to leave it alone.