Category: Grief
-
Heavy Heart
Now that I filed taxes and got my parents settled in to their memory care community, I’m able to take a breathe and feel the weight of caregiving on me, on my now heavy heart. Struggling with the weight of caregiving for parents with dementia and a son with migraines while I live with bipolar…
-
Insomnia – My Mind Will Not Rest
Insomnia and hypomania as I dealt with family health crisis – mother’s stroke and father’s dementia
-
Finally, I Cry
Monday, I joined my mother for music therapy after which I told her I had to take my son to school. I had a few hours before his class began, but I needed a break. Tuesday, I didn’t visit either of my parents. I cared only for my son and myself. Today I sit…
-
I Don’t Want to Write About #Suicide
I don’t want to write about suicide I don’t want the image of her Clinging onto a chain link fence Chef’s knife in hand Chef’s knife inside of her Looking through the chain link At kids playing in the park She mourned the loss of her son She could not contain her grief She could…
-
Still Exhausted, But Relaxing
Still exhausted, but on vacation in Waldport on the Central Oregon Coast. When we arrived in Portland, before we drove out to the coast, we stopped at the Willamette National Cemetery where my brother-in-law is buried. The cemetery is beautiful, surrounded by trees with a view of the Cascade mountains in the distance. We said…
-
Fear of Loss
Thursday night I saw my psychologist over the disaster that was Tuesday. First I had her listen to the distraught voice recording I made that night. I told her about my son’s recurring gastroenteritis. He’s suffered from migraines with vomiting since he was a toddler, has gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), and gets gastroenteritis regularly during the…
-
Death, Grief & the Beast
NAMI Orange County volunteer Melissa Nemeth passed on as did my brother-in-law Don. Grief that I denied myself now hits me. Now I realize how much compassion I withheld from my husband as I defended myself from pain and from being needed. My prayers go out to Melissa’s family and to my in-laws. The tears flow…
-
Two Losses in Three Parts #Writing101
As I thought about today’s writing prompt to write about a loss, I kept circling back to two losses – the loss of my maternal grandfather and the loss of my expectations and plans for my future. Now, a third pops into my mind – my husband’s loss of his brother. Somehow I will be…
-
Rumi on Grief
There is something both beautiful and sorrowful when someone or something dies. Something spiritual lives on. Love persists and is a blessing. I do not deny the pain of grief, but believe that death is a part of life, and that grief is a part of loving. There is no way to love without experiencing…